26 - Christmas Crunch

Brand: Quaker

Taste: 8/10

Price: 8/10

Crispiness Stamina: 10 minutes

Cereal Milk: 8/10

Spoonfull Milk to Cereal ratio: 9 pieces

Overall Experience: 8.5/10 

It has been inexcusably long since I have posted a review, but now that Thanksgiving is over, it is now time for that most wonderful of holiday celebrations...Christmas, and what better gift to find under the tree then one of the most beloved special edition cereals of all time, 'Christmas Crunch'?  Steeped in tradition, Christmas Crunch does not try to get creative or derive from the 'Crunch Berry' idea, but it packs enough holiday flavor to turn the most humbuggiest of Scrooges into a whole-hearted cereal lover.

Santa first began delivering this appetizing stocking-stuffer in 1988 (during the golden age of children's cereal creativity and ingenuity), and for over 20 years it came in the form of regular Cap'n Crunch paired with red and green Crunch Berries.  This year, however, it seems the Cap'n has stepped up his holiday game, changing the crunch berries to Christmas trees, stars, and  Santa hats!  

This reviewer has also detected the absolutely slightest hint of peppermint, which makes sense for the season but is not overwhelming, just noticeable (if anyone else tastes this, let me know. Maybe it's just me.).  I recently read an excellent post on Christmas Crunch with some terrific pictures and links to old ads and commercials; it's available here.  Whatever cereal one chooses to enjoy the next month with, Christmas Crunch is a surefire way to make the most of the season. Merry Christmas, all, and to all a hearty spoonful!

25 - 2012 TEAM USA CEREAL

Brand: Kellogg's

Taste: 7.5/10

Price: 8/10

Crispiness Stamina: 6.5 minutes

Cereal Milk: 7/10

Spoonfull Milk to Cereal ratio: 7-9 pieces

Overall Experience: 7.5/10 (Silver Medalist)

Seeing as the Olympics are taking place, it seemed apropos to review Kellogg's most recent entry into the cereal universe, "2012 Team USA Cereal". It's not uncommon for cereals to appear in the form of 'special', 'collector's' or 'seasonal' editions. What is, uncommon, however, is for a special edition to have such understated confidence in regards to taste and overall satisfaction. Not much hullabaloo was made of this cereal's release, but that hasn't held down its (olympic?) spirit. 

First off, choosing vanilla as the taste is a largely uncharted territory in the cereal world. This is surprising, seeing as how vanilla is not the most dynamic of experiences one can engage their palate with. 2012 Team USA breaks from that thought and instead presents itself as a cereal that knows the experience it wants to provide. Not only is it good, but the patriotic cause is a worthy one as well. If you are so inclined, you don't have to worry about making it all the way to foggy London-town to root on the good ol' Yanks, but a hefty spoonful of 2012 Team USA will surely send that goodwill across the pond.

The only deficiencies that could be pointed to could actually be the vanilla itself, as some may be underwhelmed by the less-than-dynamic taste or perceive the cereal as boring or criticize it for being lackluster. Additionally, the "Froot Loops" shape and color similarities are certainly obvious enough. Possibly shaping the cereal into little Olympic torches or various Olympic sports, balls, shoes, etc. could have gone over well, too. I would argue that the vanilla taste is a comfortable and smooth way to ease into one's morning, and the taste combines seamlessly into a subtle and satisfying cereal-milk as well. While not the best in the world, nothing is wrong with a silver medal, which is what I give Kellogg's for their efforts with '2012 Team USA'; a great ambassador, if you will, for the Olympic games or any event.

24 - Koala Crisp

Brand: Envirokidz 

Taste: 5/10

Price: 3/10

Crispiness Stamina: 10 minutes

Cereal Milk: 6/10

Spoonful Milk to Cereal ratio: 20 pieces

Overall Experience: 5/10 (+1 for yuppiness)

"Oh, well look at that," you say. "Organic, Gluten-Free 'Koala Crisp'? Timeforcereal.com's all grown up now." Don't worry folks, that's crazy talk. Koala Crisp, however, has always caught my eye sitting at the end of the aisle. It stands as a beacon of natural, organic, yuppie-child breakfast against all the others available beside it on the rack offering their evil artificial flavors, odd shapes, and sugary marshmallows. In fact, the more I think about it, that Koala on the picture is quickly going from innocent and curious-looking to giving off an heir of grainy-pomposity.  

Alright, maybe I'm being too harsh. I mean, the cereal is supposed to be cocoa flavored, so there's that. But it's not enough that they're simply making the effort. The "cocoa-flavor" has to deliver. As Business Cat would say, "Milk is for Closers"! 

I will say that the stamina of crispiness easily carried from first spoonful to final spoonful, a rare feet in any type of cereal (even 'Crispix' doesn't hold up as well as this did). The "cocoa" taste was, once again, reminiscent of chocolate-scented cardboard; lackluster, and uninspired. Look, if you're wanting to stay on par with your fellow neighbors at the University of Cal-Berkley, always keep a box on hand for display. Otherwise, let the Koala stay on the tree.

23 - シスコーンBIG (Chocolate Flakes)

Brand: Ciscos 

Taste: 4/10

Price: 7/10

Crispiness Stamina: 6 minutes

Cereal Milk: 5.5/10

Spoonfull Milk to Cereal ratio: 7 pieces

Overall Experience: 五/10

Okay, well, if the use of kanji and the fact that it has been almost two months since a post doesn't give it away; yes, I have moved to Japan. For the next three years, I will be experiencing cereal from the land of the milky spoon, er, rising sun. Cereal selection over here? Quite limited. Nevertheless, it will not stop your truly from experimenting and experiencing both the familiar (I can still purchase 'American' cereal at the Commissary (Grocery Store) on Navy Base Yokosuka) and unfamiliar (buying a box of cereal anywhere else in the entire country. 

With that said, I'll go ahead and review this first Japanese cereal I have tried. All in all, it was not a poor choice. The flakes taste quite unfamiliar at first, straddling the borderline between cardboard and majorly-low-on-the-sweets-chocolate. But, like, EVERYTHING over here, it is safe to assume that even Chocolate is approached differently in this country than in America. Really, that's not too hard to wrap one's mind around. After all, it's practically common knowledge that, if one would venture into a Japanese restaurant in America, they would go expecting something different than a Panera or Chipotle'. Now, with that said, I'm from America, as are the majority of my readers, so I am going to judge this based on an American point of view. What does that mean? That means that this cereal was very disappointing! 

To describe the experience of eating the シスコーンBIG Chocolate cereal (there are various flavors of シスコーンBIG available), picture, if you will, stale, chocolate-coated corn flakes that you just discovered in the dusty back-corner of your spare pantry. That's what these things taste like FRESH....at the start. I must admit, though, I'm being a bit too harsh. After a few bites, it really just becomes a lackluster, boring chocolate cereal. It's not necessarily bad, but won't blow you out of your thatched-roof tatami room, either. Don't worry, though, Japan, I won't give up on you that easy! 

22 - Quisp

Brand: Quaker

Taste: 5.5/10

Price: 5/10

Crispiness Stamina: 9.5 minutes

Cereal Milk: 6/10

Spoonfull Milk to Cereal ratio: 10 pieces

Overall Experience: A slightly familiar 6/10

It's difficult to describe, or even imagine, what exactly Quisp is aiming to be. From its un-inspiring description of being 'Crunchy Corn Cereal' to the pin-and-propeller-headed creature that seems either crazy about the bowl he's about to consume or just plain crazy in general (I mean, he does have a pin with a propeller jammed in the top of his head). Well, if it's craziness about the bowl he's about to consume, I can understand why. He's got a good cereal experience ahead of him.

Within the first spoonfull of Quisp cereal, one has to acknowledge the strong resemblance it's taste bears to another familiar cereal, King Vitaman. A similar taste notwithstanding, Quisp has a different texture than the King. Truthfully, a better texture. The "scoop-like" pieces actually hold a little extra milk in each spoonfull, which works well for some, but can lead to less balance in the spoonfull milk-to-Cereal ratio.

Overall, one won't be too dissapointed with Quisp, but I have to knock it down a couple points because, quite frankly, I've tasted this cereal before, just in a different texture. It's called King Vitaman (Sorry, little propeller/alien psycho-kid-guy).